Is Your Ego in the Driver Seat? 13 Energetic Qualities of Your True Self
Imagine for a moment that you truly understood why you feel angry, sad, or anxious and could put an end to emotional outbursts, feeling stuck, burnout, and combative or toxic relationships?
What if you could identify the inner part driving those emotional responses rather than the outer elements that you cannot control?
If you’re tired of emotional chaos and are looking for a different way of being in the world, accessing your True Self will allow you to respond to your emotions with curiosity, explore which old beliefs and conditioning could be shed, and open up to more truth, love, and freedom in your life.
Knowing the 13 energetic qualities of your True Self will support you in identifying the inner egoic parts of you who are running the show in fear and allow you the space to create a more fulfilling and loving life.
What is the True Self? Understanding the Essence of You
Your True Self is the most authentic version of who you truly are. Some may also call it the Higher Self or your Authentic Self. Regardless, it’s the part of you that is:
deeply connected to Source,
exists in the present moment,
free from fear rooted in the past,
and embodies love and wisdom.
When you align with this deeper essence, you tap into a wellspring of creativity, joy, and fulfillment. You can begin co-creating with life. You can make decisions that align with your deepest desires and values, and you’ll experience more flow and grace even in the face of challenges.
How to Embody Your True Self: Accessing the Present Moment
Embodying your True Self isn’t about simply “thinking positive” or relying on affirmations. It’s about being able to turn inward and navigate your inner landscape so you can identify when past pain and conditioning are overtaking the present. This occurs when inner parts are in the driver seat and they prevent you from seeing clearly and acting with discernment.
When the past overrides the present: Your ego parts are in control
Your ego is made up of different parts. These inner parts:
hold painful memories, trauma, and negative emotions
work to protect us from further emotional pain, trauma, or anything they believe might harm it
operate reactively in response to emotional distress or threats
work to maintain control, order, and predictability in an effort to keep certain feelings and memories at bay
may create rules, routines, and strict standards to avoid situations that might trigger distressing emotions
These inner parts operate in the unconscious realms and can control or limit you from living and creating a joyful, connected life. Through embodiment practices, you can bring awareness to your internal landscape and access your True Self in the present moment.
You can recognize these inner parts as pieces of you stuck in the past who are lovingly trying to keep you safe, thank them for their data, but allow your True Self to take the next best step forward.
A key component of this work is to be able to identify True Self energy from ego-based energy.
True Self energy will always be for your greatest well-being and evolution as a soul. This means that not all experiences will be pleasurable or comfortable, which is what the ego desires overall, but they will lead you to the truth that sets you free.
13 Qualities of Your True Self (The 8 C's and 5 P's)
A helpful starting point in learning to recognize the wisdom of your True Self is becoming familiar with the 8 Cs and 5 Ps of Self from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework.
When you are embodying your True Self you are not going to be simultaneously experiencing all of these states at once. Rather, you'll likely experience one of these states intensely, and that will lead you to the next right step on your path.
The 8 C definitions come from Dick Schwartz, PhD., creator of-Internal Family Systems, and were adapted by Don Elium, LMFT.
When you embody these 8 C qualities, your True Self is in the driver seat, not a past part of you who is trying to manage or protect you from further hurt or pain.
1. Calm:
a physiological and mental serenity regardless of the circumstances;
the ability to react to triggers in your environment in less automatic and extreme ways;
to be less vulnerable to adopting the common fight-flight-freeze response when threatened.
2. Curiosity:
a strong desire to know or learn something new about a topic, situation, or person;
to have a sense of wonder about the world and how things work;
genuinely interested in non-judgmentally understanding something or someone.
3. Clarity:
the ability to perceive situations accurately without distortion from extreme beliefs and emotions;
the ability to maintain one’s objectivity about a situation in which one has a vested interest;
the absence of preconception and objection; the ability to maintain a “beginner’s mind” in which many possibilities exist.
4. Compassion:
to be open-heartedly present and appreciative of others without feeling the urge to fix, change, or distance from them;
an intuitive understanding that the suffering of others affects you because of your connectedness to them;
to simultaneously have empathy for others and a belief that the other has a Self that once released can relieve his or her own suffering.
5. Confidence:to maintain a strong belief in one’s ability to stay fully present in a situation and handle or repair anything that happens with the belief that “no matter what, it’s all okay and will all work out the way it can”;
to have healed from previous traumas and learned from previous failures to such a degree that their effect does not spill into the present;
to understand that mistakes are only lessons to be learned.
6. Courage:
strength in the face of threat, challenge, or danger;
the willingness to take action toward a goal that others would find overwhelming;
the ability to recognize the damage we do to others and then take action to make amends;
the willingness to reflect and “go inside” toward our own pain and shame, carefully examine it, feel it, and act on what we see.
7. Creativity:the use of the imagination to produce original ideas;
the ability to enter the “flow state” in which expression spontaneously flows out of us and we are immersed in the pleasure of the activity;
the ability to create generative learning and solutions to problems.
8. Connectedness:
the state of feeling a part of a larger entity such as a partnership, team, community, or organization;
a connection to a meaningful purpose or a higher calling above the circumstances of daily life;
to be in a relationship with someone who truly knows and accepts you for who you really are;
to be able to relax your defenses with others as you know that you won’t be judged or controlled and are not afraid of getting hurt because you have confidence that you can repair any damage or misunderstandings that may occur.
The 5 P’s:
Patience: the True Self exists outside of time. It is never in a rush or hurry. It is able to have patience for what Is.
Perspective: Being able to see life’s challenges from a higher, more holistic viewpoint; zooming out and see connections through time and space.
Presence: Be fully in the moment, free from distractions, and fully engaged in your life.
Playfulness: Approach life with joy and lightness, knowing that every experience is an opportunity for growth.
Persistence: Holding space for your evolution and trusting the path, no matter how difficult it may seem.
By recognizing these qualities within ourselves and consciously cultivating them in our daily lives, we can experience a profound shift in how we experience life and what we create.
How Embodying Your True Self Will Transform Your Life
Through embodiment practices, you can gain access to these 13 key qualities and start experiencing a profound shift in how you respond to challenges. You'll manage stress more effectively, make decisions with clarity and confidence, and create stronger, more meaningful relationships. Most importantly, you'll step into your power navigating both the professional and personal realms with ease and authenticity.
Check out How to Embody the 13 Qualities of Your True Self: A Step-by-Step Guide
Ready to Access Your Truest Self and Shine with Love?
If you’re ready to reconnect with your True Self, reduce stress, and restore your emotional and physical energy, I’m here to guide you on that journey.
As a coach with deep knowledge of embodiment practice, inner work, and nondual spirituality, I help professional working mothers reclaim their balance, reduce overwhelm, and step into a life that is lighter, brighter, and more present.